It seems titling an article about questions with a question is appropriate, don’t you think? Have you ever wondered why some people seem to question everything? Does it annoy you when they do? Why do you think it is that we see Jesus asking so many questions with his parables in the gospels?

            It seems the key for those people who are the best at getting “below the surface” in conversations and in relationships is knowing the right questions to ask, don’t you think? Has your experience been the same as mine, in that I struggle to know what to say to initiate a deeper relationship with someone, and so I ask “How’s work?” or “How’s it going?”  How often have you gotten an answer other than “good”? Not very often, right? Our tendency seems to be to not go any deeper in our responses than the questioner seems willing to go in asking the question, doesn’t it? But that’s only logical isn’t it? We give “safe” answers to “safe” questions, don’t we? Why should we be willing to risk embarrassment or rejection by baring our soul if the questioner isn’t really asking for it in their “how’s it going” opening? But isn’t it freeing and refreshing when someone poses a question to us in a way that we know they really want to hear our deep stuff? Don’t you think others would equally welcome the opportunity to go deeper? I’m beginning to ask myself “why not?”

            Have you also found that it is helpful in wrestling with a new idea or proposal from someone that is “out of our comfort zone” to question it before accepting it? It helps us make it ours or translate it into our own unique perspective if we do that, doesn’t it? And I’ve found that the only way we truly believe something is if we’ve questioned it long enough to truly own it; haven’t you?

            So, what are some good questions? Well instead of asking someone how they are doing, or how their day was, how about asking “What was the best thing that happened to you today?” Or “What was the hardest thing about your day?” If we want to get to know somebody better, how about asking “What are the things that make you happy?” Or “What does a great day at your job look like?” Or “What kind of lessons have you learned the hard way?” Or the best one I read lately, “Can you tell me your life story in four minutes?”

            So what’s helpful when the preacher or someone else throws out a thought or concept that we’re not sure about, or is new to us? What would help us make it our own or decide we need to reject it? How about “Does this resonate at all with what I’ve experienced personally or witnessed in others?”  Or “Is this at odds with what I understand as the scripture’s perspective on this idea?” And if I don’t know, who do I trust that I can ask?

            All right, are you tired of questions yet? Have you noticed how many question marks are in the previous paragraphs? Annoying isn’t it? Well I hope it has jogged your thing about asking good questions. Err... I mean, In what ways has it jogged your thinking about asking good questions?

            Have a great summer!  Umm… I mean, Have a great summer, Eh?

Pastor Carl